Saturday, 14 November 2020

Should I give up or not ?

Four o'clock in the morning is my most creative time of the day. So it was this morning and here I am now at 5.12am tring to empty my mind of a thousand thoughts to put them into words and hard copy.

Yesterday I hit my target and wrote 2,849 words for my latest book THE KA OF TIMOTHY FORD-NEWMAN. That is 44 words more than the average I will need to write if I go ahead with the project I have been debating these past few days.

In  addition I scribbled 1,647 words for the plan to make this writing project happen. That project is for me to write a minimum of 24 works across 2021 with a minimum of one million

words. All nof this tio be sponsored in support of the work done at University Hospital Milton Keynes. I went to bed last night convinced that I should abandon the idea as I will not be able to gather the support around me.Yesterday's blog page attracted only eleven readers and sharing it on facebook there was not a single like. NOT ONE. Common sense says GIVE UP.

However, at 4am I decided not to give up - well not yet.

I am going to finish writing a detauiled plan for the project, to print off copies and post them to specific people on FRIDAY 20th NOVEMBER asking thenm to take on specific management rioles in a team supporting my writing. I will write, I know I can achieve one million words within the coming year BUT I can not also manage the project and generate the sponsorship support for University Hospital Milton Keynes.

I will then give the recipients of my plan until MONDAY 14th DECEMBER to offer support and form the management team. If all positions are not in place by that day then I will abandon the idea.

So what did I write yesterday.

In my book THE KA OF TIMOTHY FORD-NEWMAN Tim's spirit or Ka - Ka is the Ancient Egyptian word for Spirit, is floating about on the Astral Plane having one adventure after another. That is if Adventure is the right word.

Thes adventures do not flow in any logical order. That will be explained in the very last paragraphs of the last chapter.

After having written what I hope readers will find a moving chapter with Timothy serving as a doctor in the early years of World War One this should have moved to him working as a British volunteer doctor in the American Vietnam War. However, having poured so much emotion into that chapter I could not find that I needed to do the same in another war.

The movement of Timothy's spirit does not move in a logical, chronological order so I decided to begin work on the final chapter which is called DANGEROUS MOONLIGHT.

The chapter is set in the present day with Doctor Timothy Ford-Newman in prison, in prison serving a life sentence for murder. He does not regret the murder even though he has dedicated his life to saving the lives of others,

He receives a visitor in prison from a Miss Pearce who is part of The Special Operations Executive in World War Two. I have cheated slightly by basing this character on one in a TV cop drama. 

I have deliberately not finished the chapter, leaving the ending to be the last part of the book I write.

You can read what I scribbled yesterday in a moment.

Before bed I decided today I would work on the penultimate chapter for the book which I am titling: SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPH. Before sleeping I wrote these words ready for today's writing:

School should be banned !  That was Tim's philosophy.

In Australia, in the Outback they have radio schools on the air. Very easy, just forget to charge the radio batteries.

Australia was short of people. anyone could emigrate there with all expences paid for twenty pounds.

Australia had flying doctors, perhaps Tim should become a doctor. Being a pilot could be a good idea, how about a dual profession ?

Schools should be banned.

At four o'clock in the moring the entire chapter serendipity came to me. All I have to do today 

is to extract it from my brain and write it.

Back to yesterday. When Miss Pearce leaves HMP Becklington she takes Prisoner F56198 Doctor Timothy Ford-Newman with her to become Operative Wagner in SOE's mission Valkyrie.

If anyone is interested these are the 2,849 words from yesterday.


The gun pointed to the back of his head, Timothy Ford-Newman was drifting in and out of consciousness. Just a microsecond separated the pulling of the trigger to a bullet smashing his scull then tearing through his brain. The Ka now moved to a permanent residence where it was greeted with a warm golden glow.

“You have a visitor.”

“No I don’t. I do not accept visitors, you know that it is on my file.”

“This is an official visit.”

“I don’t use a solicitor, that is also on my file.”

“This is not a solicitor. It’s an official of some kind as in official visit.”

“The only official visit I will accept is someone coming to tell me that the death penalty has been reintroduced and I qualify.”

“I do not think that is the purpose of this official but you may find the end result is the same.”

Timothy Newman considered for a moment, he was going to reject the visitor of course he was but something was filling his being with a desire to meet him. It was a him wasn’t it of course ?

“She has been waiting for almost an hour and I do not think she will go away.”

She ? She of the female persuasion. “I will see her but not in some vising room, if she wants to talk with me it will be here.”

“In your cell ? You never leave your cell and your self-imposed solitary confinement.”

“Why should I ?  I am dead and this is my coffin.”

“I will bring her down.”

“I will see her alone, no guard.”

“It will be just the two of us,” the visitor said. “No guard listening in to what I have to say.”

“We do not have guards,” the wing governor said. “We have officers, prison officers.”

“You do not have prison officers who have signed The Official Secrets Act so I will see Prisoner Newman alone.”

“If you insist officially Madam.”

“I do insist and it is official. It is Miss and not Madam.”

“Lock the door and nobody is to stand outside.”

“Very well Miss.” He emphasised the Miss.

“Doctor Ford-Newman I am Miss Pierce.”

“In here I am Prisoner Newman F56198, the doctor and Ford bit left me a while ago.”

“When you committed the murder ?”


“I’ll not beat about the bush Doctor, there is not time. You speak German ?”

“I do, I had a friend once who was German. I also speak French.”

“French will not be necessary. This is from when you served in the Great War ?”

“Yes. I also served in Vietnam but I do not speak Chinese ?”

“As with French Chinese will not be necessary for what you are going to do.”

“I am not going to do anything beyond sit in this prison cell for the rest of my days.”

“We will see about that Doctor Ford-Newman. We will see about that Timothy.”

“Will we ?”

“You are going to need this.” Miss Pearce handed Doctor Timothy Ford-Newman a photograph. “You have in your time collected photographs but this will be your most important.”

“Where is this ?”

“I will tell you later.”

Timothy after that initial glance set aside the picture to study the woman who was with him in his prison cell. Enigma filled every cell of her body. She looked to be seventy or more but she was probably in her mid-forties and no more. Her face was lined beyond her years, possibly though the work she was doing. Her eyes while not sparkling with delight shone with a light that penetrated his very depth. This Miss Pearce had grey hair but Tim suspected it was dyed. Why had she done that.

“Valkyrie, Operation Valkyrie you are going to be a part of it.” 

She did not ask and she did not invite, she instructed.

“Can I just check my diary with you,” Doctor Timothy said the department manager. “I have been asked to take on an additional shift next week at the clinic.”

“The addiction clinic ?”

“That’s the one. Thursday evening.”

The keyboard was rattled. “It is very noble of you to do these extra duties at the clinic. How many evenings a week do you work ?”

“Usually two but I have been asked to do an extra shift next week.”

“Like I say it is very noble of you.”

“Not at all. My philosophy, the philosophy of every doctor throughout the world is not to treat patients but to care for them. An addict is a victim, not a bad person, who needs double, treble the love and care given to someone who has an appendicitis or a broken leg.”

Doctor Tim believed that all life was sacred, he was a vegetarian and had been since his late teens. No man had the right to take the life of any other living creature. He could remember when the death penalty was in common use, if ever it returned he would give his own life in exchange for a condemned man. That without exception save for drug dealers. Any one drug dealer destroyed more lives than did every single serial killer since Jack The Ripper, given the opportunity Tim would welcome the death penalty for every drug dealer operating at any level. That was never going to be the law, criminals daily worked their mission to destroy innocent addicts. Tim would volunteer for any shifts at the clinic to help. In such a situation he did not treat his patients, he did not care for them, he loved them.

“You can now look at the photograph,”  Miss Pearce instructed.

Tim obeyed her order.

“That is the subject of Operation Valkyrie.”

The picture was an aerial recognisance image.

“Three aircraft flew to take that image, two were destroyed by enemy fire with all crew members killed.”

Enemy ?  In The Great War, the war to end all wars, Tim had found distinguishing between the enemy and not the enemy. Was this war different ?

“You are looking at Peenemünde German Army Research Centre. It needs to be destroyed but more importantly those working there need to be destroyed, eliminated, killed.”

“Murdered ?”  Tim questioned.

“Executed,” Miss Pearce corrected him.

Tim wanted to ask why but knew if he kept silent his question would be answered. It was.

“Scientists and engineers are building non-piloted weapons, rockets carrying bombs. Alongside this other scientists are developing a bomb which can destroy an entire city. Combine the two together and not only will we lose the war but there is a very real possibility our entire country will be destroyed. Every single man, woman and child. Every living form. Operation Valkyrie is our only hope.”

“I have been to war twice Miss Pearce.”

“I know you have. You conducted yourself with honour and dignity in The Great War and you did not have to fight in Vietnam, you went as a volunteer. But now today in 1944 Operation Valkyrie needs Doctor Timothy Ford-Newman.”

“Allow me to correct you Miss Pearce; I did not fight in any war, I did not fight but as a doctor saved lives.”

“If I remember rightly you were part of more than one execution squads shooting soldiers at dawn.”

The lines on the lady‘s face deepened and her eyes penetrated more deeply. Tim wondered if she played chess. She was playing chess with him but she was still in her opening gambit.

“I am sorry,” Tim began, “your key worker is off today and I am standing in. Can I say what a pleasure it is to meet you. I have your file but these are only words. He set  the buff folder aside. Tell me about yourself, the real you.”

David had never met Doctor Tim before but he knew him by reputation, every client of the clinic knew him by reputation.

“I am an addict. I am addicted to heroine and to cocaine. I am an addict.”

“So what. I wear a watch on my left wrist and never take it off. Tell me what is the difference ?”

David was confused but he knew Doctor Tim had to be talking sense.

“You spend your day needing a fix,” Time said. “No fix and you can not live through the day. My fix is my watch, I must look at it ten or more times every hour. I cannot live without it.”

Operation Valkyrie needs your medical skills.”

“To murder, or as you would put it to execute, everyone in this picture. He waved the photograph in Miss Pearce’s direction.”


“Why not bomb it flat ?”

“You anticipate me Doctor Ford-Newman.”  Miss Pearce was strategically moving the pieces on her side of the chess board.

“So ?”

“This is probably the most closely guarded site within The Third Reich when it comes to a bombing attack. Getting the picture you are now holding was perhaps the most carefully planned and undertaken mission The Royal Air Force has had and will have in its history. Two aircraft had to be sacrificed to allow the third to get through.”

“You mean men were deliberately sent to their deaths ?”

“Isn’t that what happened in the war you fought in ?”

“I have told you I am a doctor, I never fought anyone.”

Miss Pearce shrugged her shoulders and continued moving the pieces on the chess board. “The need is to kill the occupants of  The Peenemünde German Army Research Centre, all save for two who we need to capture and bring to England where persuasion will see them working for our side.”

“So we can with one flick of destruction destroy a city, say Berlin, in Germany.”

“Probably not Berlin.”

“How long have you been an addict David ?”

“Since I was seventeen.”

“And you are still a user even though you attend this clinic.”

“I can not help it, the prescription does nothing for me.”

“How do you find your habit ? You do not look to me like someone who would steal.”

“It’s in the file doctor.”

“I am not interested in your file and its words, I am interested in you David.”

“Can’t you hypnotise me or something ?”

“I could give you a watch,” Time laughed.

“You are Doctor Ford-Newman a convicted murderer who is serving a prison sentence for the crime.”

“I am.”

“So you have committed one murder, why not another ?”

Timothy did not answer.

“Just as well I am not asking you within Operation Valkyrie your role will not be to kill anyone.”


“You will be the one who rescues the two we need to bring back to England.”

“So we can with one flick of destruction destroy a city, if not Berlin then Hamburg ?”

“When The Fuehrer knows we have access to his technology and he does not then the war can end, and not to mention the Japanese and the Russians.”

“The Russians are on our side.”

“Are they ?  The Americans then.”


Those eyes, those lines on Miss Pearce’s face, was she hypnotising him ?

“Seriously Doctor, could you hypnotise me and rid me of this addiction ?”

“I am a surgeon and not a psychologist so hypnosis is outside my skill remit.”

“But what you have been saying,” David hesitated. “The watch stuff and all that.”

“You didn’t tell me how you fund your addiction, where you get the money from to pay your dealer.”

David looked to the floor.

“Well ?”

“My Grandfather.”

“He pays for your habit ?

“Sort of. When he died he left his money jointly to my brother and to me.”

“So your grandfather is funding your addiction ?  Did you love him.”

“Of course I did. I did not start using until he died.”

“When you were seventeen ?”


David took his watch off his wrist and handed it to David. “Wear this, put it on. Every time you think about a fix look at the watch and think of your grandfather.”

David accepted the watch with thanks and gratitude.

“What did your brother do with his half of the money. Sam is two years older than I am, he used his half to set himself up in business. He is my dealer.”

“Rotting here in prison has destroyed your life and all your have achieved across the lives your spirit has explored. I and my colleagues are not asking you to commit murder, murder you have shown yourself to be capable of but to prevent mass murder,” Pearce continued to manipulate her subject even though the game was over.

Timothy closed his eyes and thought. He thought of David from the addiction clinic, David who had been stabbed and killed by his drug dealer older brother. What was David’s Ka doing at that very moment ? Somehow David’s Ka and his own were intertwined. Was that why Timothy had executed the brother ?  What would David want him to do ?

The clinic rang the department manager’s office and asked for Doctor  Timothy Ford-Newman to call back when he was free. He did call back then drove immediately to the clinic.

“I only met him the once but he was special. He was a lovely man who had a chance. What happened ?”

“It isn’t properly known, the police found his body in a park. He had been stabbed in the neck.”

“Who by ?”

“The police are appealing for witnesses ?”

Timothy knew who was responsible.

“Who did he list as his next of kin ?”

“His brother.”

“Address ?”

“Let me check.”

Timothy returned to the hospital, he had to collect something and he had to explain he would be taking time off due to a bereavement.

Lights were on, Sam was inside and a car in the drive. Tim would wait until the brother began his next delivery drop. He did not have to wait long.

“Excuse me,” he said as genuinely as he could put words into his mouth.”

Sam looked round.

“I have been told you can help me.” Those words were spoken mezzo piano. “I need two dark and one light, can you help ?”

Before David’s older brother Sam could think, before he could speak Tim had the scalpel out of his pocked then with his surgeon’s skill cut the jugular vein. Ten minutes later Timothy Ford-Newman was speaking to the member of staff on the police station reception desk confessing to murder. Never mind any spirit, never mind any Ka his life was over.

Miss Pearce pressed the call button, every cell in Her Majesty’s Prison Becklington had one, it was the first time it had been used since its present occupant had moved in.

Doctor Ford-Newman will be leaving, he is coming with me.

“I think not Madam.”

“It is Miss Mr Wing Governor. Doctor Ford Newman, former prisoner F56198 is leaving with me now !”

While the two had been talking Wing Governor Richard Nuthall at Her Majesty’s Prison Becklington had been informed that the word of Miss Pearce of Her Majesty’s Special Services was to be obeyed immediately and without question. Did that extend to removing a prisoner properly tried and sentenced ?

“He does not need to take anything with him, all is prepared.”

“Yes Miss, Yes Miss Pearce.”

Tim had not met the formidable yet enigmatic Miss Pearce before anywhere in his Ka’s activities but he knew that he had encountered her driver somewhere. Although the Ka of Timothy Ford-Newman had built a wall around each separate experience the wall was starting to be take down. Slowly, not everything was clear but he was certain he and Miss Pearce had not met before.

“Forget Timothy Ford-Newman, from now on you will use only your code name which is Wager, that is pronounced Vagner.”

Timothy knew that, he could after all speak German.

“It will be you code name throughout Operation Valkyrie, when you are in Germany you will be Lukas Wagner.”

“Not Richard Wagner then ?  He wrote the Ride Of the Valkyrie.”

“You play a good game of chess Wagner.”

Tim had never played chess in his life but this was not life was it ? What was the date of his discharge from Her Majesty’s Prison Becklington ? Did he have a discharge certificate from The Great War ?  What about Vietnam ? What about a school leaving certificate ? Everything was merging together, was this part of Miss Pearce’s plan ?

“The first thing you have to do when we arrive Wagner is to sign The Official Secrets Act then you will officially be a member of SOE.”

“SOE ?”

“Special Operations Executive, I cannot tell you anymore until you have signed The Official Secrets Act.”

“Where are we going ?”

“I will answer that for you Wagner, we are going to a safe house.”  Miss Pearce enigmatically replied.

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