Thursday, 1 October 2020

I hate being old


Friday 2nd October 2020:

As I write these daily blogs I am not expecting anyone to read them. As with the daily diary entries I kept at the beginning of the Spring lock down which is on Amazon as ESCAPE FROM ARMAGEDDON I am writing for people to read in years to come. If you like I am putting together a cyber time capsule.  I am recording events but more importantly I am trying to say how I am feeling during these times.

I am wondering if normality will ever return. Will my life come to its end without the pandemic ending ?

I hate being old, my heart and my body are still a teenager but my body is old and getting older. I am finding this hard to cope with. Sometimes I go to bed and think it may be better not to wake up in the morning.

This picture on this page is the very first photograph taken of me just a couple of days after I was born. I am in my Nan's arms, she was sixty when the photograph was taken. Nan left us aged 94 years.  If I live to be 94 will the pandemic still be part of my life ?

Which will come first, the end of the pandemic or climate destruction ? Never forget that China gave the world covid 19, it gave us The Korean War and it gave us The Vietnam War. China is every day seriously damaging our planet with its climate footprint.

Am I going to survive this mess ?  If I don't then do I really care ?  What I do care about is there being a world in which my grandchildren can live. I am pessimistic !

When I first started writing a diary to become a cyber time capsule I said that we had been living in a society where failure was the norm but when the pandemic was over we needed a society where failure was not an option. Failure is there any other word we can use right now to describe society.

I hate being old !

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