Monday, 27 July 2020

Fat Bottoms !

Writing a chapter yesterday for my book about teenage rock star Pip Diamond I needed a little comic relief.  I wrote this.

I needed to change the subject before Alex’s mathematical calculations sank in. “Oh my good god !  Will you take a look at the arse on that !”

A very fat object of the female variety crossed the road in front of us.

“I bet that’s wider than The Grand Canyon.”

“When did you go to  The  Grand Canyon  Alex ?” Richard asked. “If Dad ever had to operate on that he would need a JCB excavator.” (Dad is a surgeon.)

“Drugs, sex and I think I will join a monastery,”  I added to the conversation. See I am getting to be good at English, I hope that makes my blog readers smile.

“Perhaps I should write a paper on obesity and how it is influenced by popular music in society,” Richard said.

King of mixed messages Boris Whatshisname is mouthing off about obesity. This appeared on the website of MKFM !

OK but so did this !  Mixed messages or what ?

On Saturday I did my weekly shop in Morrissons and could not help but notice the hideous size of many backsides moving up and down the isles. I am not sure that inspiration is the right word but these fat bottoms gave me the idea for the comic relief in my story.

But seriously, why can Boris be saying what he is saying while encouraging McDonald's and every other junk food outlet to thrive ?

In my story Pip Diamond is a Vegan, I am a Vegetarian which I guess is half way there. Since I stopped eating meat two years ago I have lost more than two stones and yet I eat more than perhaps I should.

Did you know that sitting typing on a computer expends 120 calories an hour. I will probably be at my laptop for four, perhaps five hours. today.

So give up eating meat and start writing - My diet !

In my book Getting To Know My Granddad Pip tells the story in a blog. There you go, start writing a blog and lose weight. Give that a try Mr Boris.

Of course the simple way to cut obesity would be to install fixed width barriers in every single supermarket, cafe, restaurant and junk (fast) food outlet. Only arses of a certain width would be able to pass through.

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