Wednesday, 15 January 2020

The Ramblings Of A Silly Old Man - CHAPTER SEVENTEEN


Does anyone know where I can buy a chain saw ?  I have tried e-bay, I've tried Amazon. I've been to B & Q, Wickes, Screwfix and even Homebase but nobody can sell me what I want. What I so urgently need.

Earlier this week I splashed the cash to buy a packet of envelopes, Fifty I think in a container of tightly wrapped plastic.  Cellophane or whatever. Impossible to break through for me to address then envelopes and post my letters.

Have you read the book Treasure Island  by Robert Louis Stevenson or even watched the 1950 Walt Disney film, is that still around ?  The guy who was marooned on the island, remember him -Ben Gun ? When he was found after however many years the one thing he asked for, the one thing he craved was a piece of cheese. I've got some cheese but I need a chain saw to open the packet. Where it says on the packet tear here it really means tear your hair out.

In an earlier ramble I complained how Cannon packages its replacement printer ink cartridges. It would be easier to break into the vault at The Bank Of England than to get inside a Cannon ink cartridge box.

I need a chain saw.

At last we have escaped from the dictatorship of The European Union so why are we still abiding by its excessive packaging laws ?  Does The European Union sell chain saws ?  What is their post Brexit trade policy ?  I have a packet of envelopes and a slap of cheese in danger of going rotten,

Thing is, if The European Union does have chain saws capable of opening this damn infernal packaging its laws have inflicted on the fife hundred and point two million people who are unfortunate to reside within its totalitarian borders would the blade actually fit the saw.  Anyway the United Kingdom is now a sovereign independent free nation so why would our enemies in the European Union take pity on me ?

Seriously, I do not know if The European Union is to blame or not for this damn infernal excess of packaging which plagues our lives. I do not know if a  chain saw can or can not be purchased from The European Union, I guess it can after all there has to be a way to cut through all its red tape.

 Why do we have to suffer such an excess of packaging ?  Why is convenience wrapped in inconvenience ? Who is dictating this state of affairs ?

This now moves my rambling into the world of recycling, global warming and climate extinction. Why can we not have a simple, easy straightforward system of packaging ?  I said to someone once that there needed to be a law, a simple law of if you can not recycle the packaging in which your product is contained then quite simply you can not sell it.The answer I received was The EU would not allow it. Is that true ?  I do not know.

If recycling is so important then why not make it a lot more simple. That's not a question,it is a statement of fact.  Why the confusion, another statement of fact. We do not need a system of images and logos, all we need is large lettering on the packet saying either: THIS PACKAGING CAN NOT BE RECYCLED or THIS PACKAGING MUST BE RECYCLED. If a shop is selling a product in packaging which can not be recycled then customers should vote with their feet.

The packaging I have been tongue in cheek complaining about is very real. Real and quite unnecessary.

In the days when I was a kid POP as we called it, fizzy soft beverages, were supplied in glass bottles. A deposit for the bottle was included in the price, When you took the bottle back to the shop you were refunded your deposit. That bottle was then washed, refilled and used again.

The same with bottles of milk.  Glass reusable bottles unlike the plastic containers sold in the supermarkets today. Can they be recycled ?  I don't have a clue. Do you ?

Am I really being a silly old man here with what I am saying ?  You know sometimes it needs someone being silly to engage common sense.

Finally, does anyone know where I can buy a chain saw ?

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