Sunday, 30 July 2017

BREAKING NEWS - Burgers on sale in deep space

BREAKING NEWS - The Diary Of A Silly Old Man is able to exclusively tell my readers that McDonald's is planning to open a series of deep space restaurants, the first will be on Jupiter's third moon Ganymead. So if Captain Kirk fancies a Big Mac or C3PO wants a Happy Meal the world's largest fast food company will be there to meet their needs.

Quite by chance I discovered last week that McDonald's is trialling its stellar operations in a Bristol restaurant.  My friends your secret is out !

I had taken my granddaughter to McDonalds so she could have her Happy Meal and spin
some coins for Ronald McDonald House Charities.
It was lunch time yet the restaurant was close to being empty. I wonder why ?

As we walked through the door instead of being met by staff at a series of tills waiting to take our order there was a line of robots with their self-service touch screens.

I turned to my granddaughter and said: This is one of those horrible new places, let's go somewhere else !

I was overheard by a member of staff who opened a proper till and served us.

These impersonal robots waiting to take you order may be fine for the crew of the Starship Enterprise but I will never use them. I am sure their operators will fob customers off by saying the robots are there for convenience but the truth is they are a cheap way of processing cash cows along the conveyor belt.

Judging by the lunchtime trade in this Bristol branch there would be more customers on Jupiter's moon Ganymead than there were at its silly robotic screens.

I would never trust such a system. I like my burgers plain, without all the muck McDonald's insist on slopping over everything. It can be hard enough trying to tell a real person that a plain cheese burger means the burger, cheese and the bun without relish so what chance would I have using a silly robot ?

I use the word SILLY with purpose.

As a kid robots were science fiction, something we dreamed about having in our daily lives.  Now we have them. Robots are retarded !

Do you use the self check out system in your local supermarket. You know - UNIDENTIFIED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA. Are these robots thick, stupid or what ?

My car has its own robot. The robot that will turn on the wipers on a clear blue sky day. The robot that will light up the frost warning light in a heat wave.

I HATE robots. If a fast food restaurant thinks I will use one to order my food then I would direct them to a hit song The Bay City Rollers had a few, quite a few, years ago.

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