Wednesday, 17 May 2017

The Director In Charge Of Stupid Ideas

There is an increasing breed of senior managers within many of Britain's companies - THE DIRECTORS IN CHARGE OF STUPID IDEAS.  No doubt these executives are highly paid, they certainly work hard and their efforts can so easily be seen on the front line of their companies.

There used to be a great branch of B & Q, the DIY store, just a mile from my home. It had a team of friendly staff, well stocked shelves, good prices and lovely customer service.  Then along came The Director In Charge Of Stupid Ideas and the branch was closed. He obviously thought customers would drive miles to another branch. Stupid or what ?  Most weeks I would visit B & Q but since the local branch closed I have completely stopped shopping there.

You have heard the saying I am sure:  IF IT AINT BUST DON'T FIX IT.  The maxim for these senior executives is: IF IT AINT BUST AND IF IT IS WORKING WELL COMPLETELY SCREW IT UP !

Morrisson's, the supermarket chain, has the most effective IDIOT DIRECTOR of all.  Let's take a little look at his handiwork.

Morrissons opened a chain of small local convenience stores, excellent local shops doing a good job and serving customers well.  Can't have that can we ? Better close them down !

Shopping trolleys at the supermarkets operated a system where customers put a one pound coin into a slot to use a trolley which was returned once the bags were unloaded into the car. The system worked well so better screw it up.  A team was sent to every one of the store's five hundred branches to bolt crop the system away. How many shopping trolleys does each branch have ?  Two hundred, three hundred ?  That would mean between one hundred and one hundred and fifty thousand trolleys. How much did it cost to change the system ?

The story does not stop there.  In just a few months Morrisson's Director In Charge Of Stupid Ideas changed his mind and sent the bolt cropping team back to every trolley in every branch to put the system back in to action.

WOW !  I bet directors in charge of stupid ideas within other companies envy the Morrisson Man !

There are some companies who have yet to take on a full time director in charge of stupid ideas, they have combined the role with their customer service directors. After all they do not have a lot to do in their main job do they ?  Such companies include BT and Curry's PC World. Know what I mean ?

2.708 people have reviewed BT on Trustpilot giving the company just one star. Curry's PC World also proudly boasts just a single star rating. One star is not easy to achieve on this review site, you have to be rubbish to achieve it.

It's a bit sad isn't it ?  But then we are only customers aren't we ?  Is CUSTOMERS an anagram of CASHCOW by any chance ?


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